A friend of a mom in my mom group hired
The Sleep Doctor, a clinical psychologist, to help get her 5 month old baby to sleep through the night, and now her baby sleeps 11 hours straight every night and takes 4, 45 minute day time naps. The sleep doc does a home visit, writes out a sleep training plan, and then does followups over phone or email. I have too many questions that just aren't answered by all the books I've read, so hopefully she can help when she comes over this Saturday. I told her that I knew some crying would be involved, but that I wanted to try the more milder forms of sleep training. She said that we might be able to make some tweaks to our schedule and soothing techniques that help Charlie sleep better.
There are several different forms of sleep training, from the mild: picking up your baby and putting him down, to the extreme: leaving your baby in his room alone for 12 hours and letting him cry himself to sleep, and shades of gray in between, but every method involves some crying.
jec2008 sent me a link to this great thread --
How to Successfully Sleep Train Your Baby -- that explains some of the different methods in more detail.
When you're at the point of even considering letting your baby shed a single tear, you've probably already tried everything. I've talked to every mom, scoured every messageboard/website, and read every book on baby sleep. I've made Charlie's bedtime earlier, tried to night wean him, kept a sleep journal.... if anything his sleep has gotten worse since I've started making changes. Though Charlie's sleep has been terrible the past couple of weeks (up over 10x a night, wide awake for a couple of hours in the middle of the night every night; very short day time naps), it was actually bad for a long time before that. Some nights he only gets half as much sleep as he needs each day. Adults are tired after only one night of sleep deprivation... can you imagine what weeks, months of sleep deprivation feels like for a poor little baby?
I've been distraught, anxious, depressed, and physically ill over all of this, and after taking everything into consideration, I'm trying to make the best decision that I can for him. Some of my mom friends told me that I'd have to sleep train Charlie at some point. I didn't want to believe them -- I wanted to try everything else first. But now I understand.
Comments (5)
poor baby and poor mommy. if it helps any...even though we we co-sleep she still is able to sleep in her crib 10+ hours. i'm just too scared of an occasional night time lapse (which they say do happen from time to time). both my husband and my line of work require us to be at our 100% otherwise the consequences are great. so we both prefer to co-sleep so that we never have to wake up in the middle of the night to pat her back to sleep. but on the weekends when we sometimes put her sleep in her crib and she's fine. I think once babies get used to sleeping 10+ hours they can pretty much do it anywhere. I am sure the sleep doctor will be able to help charlie :) i'll keep my fingers crossed and think happy thoughts for you and charlie :)
@jolee418 - mr. bee is a very very heavy sleeper, so i would never feel safe with all of us together. he'd have to be on the couch forever! I'm also so anxious, I would never be able to sleep beside him for fear of him dying of SIDS.
Hi I'm back :) I was just thinking about you and charlie and just flipped through our feeding logs. I found out that right around 4 months our baby was having sleep troubles but it also coincided with a drastic growth spurt. She was waking because she was starving, not to mention of course the milestones and such, but from that point she woke up every 1.5 to 2 hours and her appetite was insatiable. Her pediatrician recommeded increased volume of BM which we already had done but she was still waking up. It came to point where she was consuming 32 ounces a day. The pediatrician advised us not to give her any more than 32 ounces and told us to introduce solids so that's what we did. Check to see if Charlie is hungry. And ask your pediatrician. If you dont want to start solids then formula might work too. Just a thought. I remember you saying Charlie was a monster baby...kekekke..so is mine. She was a whopping 8 lbs! And she's been in the 100% in height and weight since 4 months :)
Awwww Bee. I can feel your anguish and love for Charlie. I was very fearful too. I woke up in the middle of the night when I heard her breathing differently or when she just turned in her crib. It will get better especially when Charlie is older and sturdier. You won't have to worry about him so much. My husband slept on the couch for a month until we bought a king bed :P But yeah for your sanity I wouldn't recommend co-sleeping with Charlie. I am 100% positive that you and the sleep doctor will come up with something that works for your lil monster :) unitl then, stay sane.
@jolee418 - Charlie actually doesn't eat that much in the middle of the night, so I definitely think eating is just a habit. Most nights he'll only have 3 ounces.. sometimes he'll have less than 2. One of the books I read said that anything less than 2 ounces isn't a meal and they're just eating in the middle of the night because it's a habit. Sometimes it's actually a struggle to get him to eat in the daytime. He eats about 26 ounces a day right now, but some days he's even eaten as little as 21-22. Considering he's pretty big, he's never been too much of a piggy.
Can't wait to hear about the Sleep Doctor's tips! I hope they work for Charlie and you!